To all Married Men looking to Cheat

Saw this and wanted to share....


To all married men looking to cheat:

1. You wife is not the reason your marriage sucks. YOU are. If you spent half as much time paying attention to her as you do as sh*gging someone else your marriage would be a whole hell of a lot better.

2. Yeah, yeah, we've all heard it a thousand times. You're in a loveless marriage. Your wife doesn't "understand" you. First of all, that's probably a lie, because most cheaters are liars too. I'm going to let you in on a little secret - if your wife isn't interested in you, it's because you're not offering her anything that's interesting. Sex with married men gets awfully boring after a while. They do the same boring thing the same boring way every time and they expect you to scream like a porn star. Seriously, you come home from work, totally ignore her while she chases the kids around for hours, makes dinner, does the laundry, blah blah blah, and then you expect her to roll over for another session of boring same-old same-old? When are you idiots going to learn that the best foreplay in the world for a woman is watching you take care of the kids, vacuuming the floor, doing the laundry and appreciating & respecting your wife for what she does. Or how about just listening when she talks? Surely it's not that hard to stop thinking about yourself for five minutes and hear what she has to say.

3.Your children are NOT the reason you're staying married. If you were THAT miserable, you'd leave whether you had kids or not. You obviously don't care enough about your kids to treat their mother with enough respect not to cheat on her, and you don't care about them enough to spend time with THEM instead of some cheap whore from work. There is absolutely nothing honorable about putting your dirty secret sex-life & whore ahead of your kids. If you really really cared about them, you would put ALL your time and effort and money into saving the one thing that means most to them in the whole world- your marriage and their family.

4. We all know how bored and lonely you are. It was your first excuse as to why you made very bad choices. Poor you, someone should really come along to entertain you. What are you, 3 years old? If you're bored with your marriage, it's because YOU'RE BORING. Have you ever stopped to think that if you're bored, she probably is too. But instead of throwing a temper tantrum like a 2 year old, she's at home cleaning out the lint trap on the dryer and washing sticky food off the kitchen floor. Yeah, she's having a riot washing your underwear and cleaning up after you. Marriage is hard work. Hell, life is hard work. Grow up and take some responsibility for yourself. You have a brain, USE it. Put some thought into your marriage and some effort into your life and stop blaming your wife and being a stupid tw*t because your life isn't fun.

5. Your new whore is younger. Sure she is - first off because you want to find someone as stupid as yourself, who will believe everything you say & do and lap up the stupid drivel that comes out of your mouth, making you feel oh so superior. You think that a younger person with the brain the size of a pea will be more attractive and find you attractive? Get this - You think you look the same as you did when you got married? I'd bet not. Even if you do, you haven't spent the past years having babies (the ones YOU wanted) and sacrificing your body for them. The next time you have to have someone stitch your a$$hole together because you just pushed a watermelon out of it, then you can squawk. If you ever spend 9 months with your belly stretched to obscene proportions, and manage to look exactly the same as you used to 6 weeks later, then you can bitch about how unattractive she is these days. Until then, SHUT UP. You have no concept of what she sacrificed to give you the children you claim to love. You really think she wants varicose veins and stretch marks and saggy boobs? Get real. What she wants is a man who understands and values WHY she has varicose veins and stretch marks and saggy boobs. She wants a man who loves her exclusively because she was willing to make those sacrifices with her own body because she loves HIM. Instead, you criticize and disrespect her and go running off with the first 35 year old whore who gives you the time of day.

6. And finally, if you're cheating on your wife, there is something wrong with YOU. If you're not happy with your marriage, exactly how do you think shagging some loose tart is going to fix that? Exactly how is that going to make anyone happy? Have you ever actually heard of adultery working out really well for everyone involved? Are you actually really stupid enough to think that you're going to be the exception to that rule? If you are, you are delusional and you need professional help. Affairs are disasters- not some of the time, not most of the time, ALL OF THE TIME. Your guilt will drive you crazy. Your wife WILL find out. You will NOT be able to keep up the lies and the deception. And it will all lead up to a disaster of epic proportions, see point 7.

7. Here's what you can expect in the wake of your next infidelity-fest:

Divorce- this is where you lose everything- your wife, your house, half your income, your pension, your possessions, your credibility, your kids - EVERYTHING. You will LOSE IT ALL.

Exposure- this is where everyone finds out what a scumbag you really are. And they WILL find out. Your boss, your co-workers, your friends, your family, your wife's family, the whores family, your neighbours, the parents of your kids' friends, everyone who knows you. They WILL find out. Why? Because your wife will tell them. Your wife will probably tell everyone she knows, and everyone you know, and she will feel good doing it.

Your Kids- this is where you totally lose the respect of your kids, and you deserve to lose it. They will realize in pretty short order that you didn't care enough about them to keep your trousers on. They will see their mother cry and they will hate you for it. They will end up shuttling back and forth between their home and your hovel, and they will hate you for it. Every time they have to tell someone that their parents are divorced, they will hate you for it. And God forbid you decide to "introduce" them to your whore - they will REALLY hate you for that.
They will forever see you as the moron who broke up their family. They will know that you can't be trusted, that you are weak and immoral and selfish. And they'll figure it out all by themselves, even if you never talk to them about it. Because your kids are smarter than you are at this moment in time.

So, go ahead and whine your pathetic bullshit about how you're a victim and your wife is a horrible shrew and you are “lonely” and “bored”. Do your best to convince yourself that you didn't have any choice and your wife "drove you to it." Start with the rationalizations and justifications now, you're going to need a lot of them. Remember that the best defense is a good offense and start a mental list of all the ways your wife is deficient. Make sure to re-write the history of your marriage so that you can say to your whore that you were miserable from the first day. Be sure to tell your wife that whilst you love her, you're just not "in love" with her anymore. Deal with your guilt by lashing out at everyone around you. Above all, take no responsibility for any problems YOU may have caused that make you to be such a spineless bastard in the first place.