On being a Private Investigator

So - where to start gathering the incontravertible evidence?

I developed an increased sense of awareness around my husband. His mood swings, his sleeplessness, and his irritation.

I watched carefully and noted things that might have been of interest. I checked his phone regularly and transcribed the texts that they exchanged. I noticed that he deleted his call logs and texts whenever he could, but sometimes I was just more diligent at getting there first.

I noticed patterns in his behaviour and started a spreadsheet of when he stayed away from home (I knew that the whore shared custody of her child with her ex-husband on a weekly basis - one week the child was with her, the other she was with her ex-husband). I added all of the times he was away from home from the start of 2004 to the spreadsheet.

We booked a holiday in May 2007 to Europe - before the holiday I managed to get him to engage with me in a serious "us" conversation in which I asked him if he felt everything was OK - he said he thought it was, and when I suggested that I felt it wasn't and should we have counselling, he said that if we went to counselling then our marriage was over. I can't help thinking I gave him a very big chance to make his choice - her or me - at that time.

During the holiday I hacked into his phone and blackberry - some innocuous texts and emails from her, and some more personal, adding to the growing evidence I was collecting.

On the way home from our holiday he said he was concerned about me as I had been very quiet, so I decided that I would tell him what was on my mind.

I told him I was concerned about his relationship with the whore. He said they were just friends and got on.
I asked him if he was having an affair with her - he said no, they were just friends and got on.

I watched his body language. He was lying.

We got home and he made a special effort with me. It took gargantuan strength by this time to hold back from ripping his head off his shoulders with contempt. But I knew I would nail him with all the evidence I had collected, and of which he was unaware and that he would not be able to lie about and deny.

I knew for my own sanity it would have to be soon.......................