Is the world still turning?

Dear Husband

When I finally confirmed my worst fears, I couldn’t understand how the world was still turning, flattened by the emotion I felt and wondered how I was going to get through the days. The honesty and trust element of our marriage has been destroyed - In the final analysis (regardless of the reason for wanting to have an affair), acting on that desire ultimately depends on one thing: you being willing to be dishonest and deceptive. I’ve never felt such total rejection. I feel sick to my heart and emotionally raw at the devastation that has been created. Not to mention the humiliation of those “health issues”. It’s not only the physical deception that hurts, it’s the violation of my expectations about what is and what isn’t appropriate behaviour with other women. In other words, if the reverse were true, would you feel that I had violated you? Are our expectations the same?

I can't trust you since I perceive that you had no regard or respect for me during your affair, why then should you now? I sensed the deceit for a long time and you have been having a relationship behind my back, I’ve suffered anger, rejection, non-communication and blame at through all this time, and now, I’m in complete shutdown and she has got off scot free. Her life isn’t really any different. I hate her. You shared something with her that was free of Finances, Laundry, Shopping, Children. That serial marriage wrecker encouraged, enabled and seduced you into making some of the most destructive decisions you could possibly make.

I am a good woman, I am good enough. I deserve better than I got. I will never accept the behaviours from you that I put up with during your affair with her ever again.