Healing me - My resolve

What I need to do:

Accept that my husband had an affair for 4 years with a serial marriage wrecker. It happened, I can’t change it. It was a symptom not the disease.

Accept that the reasons he had the affair are his reasons/flaws and not mine. His reasons are that he needed constant validation, ego stroking, flattery and attention. He is the damaged one, not me. The affair was about his flaws and not mine.


Stop spending time and energy twisting over the fact that the whore has not been “made to pay” for her contribution to my marriage misery. She means nothing to me, she is the damaged one, she has no morals, she is prepared to accept the scraps of attention from a married man because she is not capable of forming proper relationships, she will never know what it is to have unconditional and whole love. She will never know what it is to be respected by her work colleagues. She will always have to live with her conscience and bad decisions. She is inconsequential & unimportant to me. I know I am a way better person than she is or ever will be.

I have to value my values again – responsibility, loyalty and trusting (to learn to trust MYSELF)

I have to work through and overcome the self doubt/lack of self esteem that discovering my husbands infidelity has caused me.

I want true love and a truthful, honest life partner. I will not settle for less. No compromises. If this doesn’t work out then I have to follow my own path and understand what this means to me going forward.

Work out that if the above things are “dealt with” then can my marriage survive infidelity
I have to start to be emotionally invested in my marriage again if I wish to reconcile successfully