The Timeline

With all the investigations I did during the early part of 2007 this is what I found:

The affair lasted almost 4 years or over a third of our married life.

It was physical between March 2004 and October 2006 apparently, although I am not sure I believe that is the case given the all text and "perfume" evidence I had until June 2007.

She was divorced by her husband because she had an affair with her married boss (who also had 2 children) at her previous workplace. His marriage was wrecked through that process too. (I managed to track down her so-called "fiance's" ex-wife and had an email exchange and a conversation with her - what sticks in my mind is this comment "That bitch destroyed my marriage")

She was supposedly "engaged" according to my husband, to this man whilst my husband and her had their affair. (now known as her so-called "fiance"). Her so-called "fiance" denied this was the case, they had never been engaged to be married, and nor did they live together.

Her so-called "fiance" did not know how long she had been involved with my husband until I confirmed what I knew. She had lied to him about how long she had been having an affair with my husband (a few months she said). The "fiance" called my husband at their workplace to tell him to get his house in order.

Her "fiance" was devastated when I called him and told him to get checked for STD's as they had not used a condom.... ever. Despite there being some in my husbands overnight bag from the time before I was sterilised at the end of 2005 (He was scared of going for a vasectomy, apparently). In fact my husband said they had never ever discussed contraception. He overheard her tell a colleague once in the office she was on the pill. I do not know if this was before their affair started, or after. Fortunately no child has been born and thankfully my STD testing came back OK, although going to my GP, who is also a family friend to ask for these tests to be conducted is the single, most humiliating thing I have ever done in my life.

Her "fiance" also denied that they were engaged - saying she had some "bad issues" was very manipulative and she should seek urgent counselling, and that he found it hard to believe anything she said to him anymore given she had lied so much to him in the past. He even asked me to ask my husband if he would call him to confirm some of the facts I had shared with him as he did not believe anything she told him any more.

I spoke with her mother too - and this I found interesting - after telling her who I was and what had been going on, she actually APOLOGISED to me.

So now begins my recovery.........................?