Conditions

I will not consider any form of reconciliation unless the following initial conditions are in place:


He sends a no contact letter to her
He seeks counselling
He finds another job
He tells me the truth


OK - so the no contact letter goes in the post to her - he writes it, I post it.


I bitterly regret any involvement with you whatsoever. Our affair was an entire mistake from the beginning to the end and should never have happened. We have caused my wife considerable pain and distress. My wife does not deserve in any way to be treated like this.

I love my wife and family deeply and recognise that in being involved in any way with you I have jeopardised their future security and happiness.
I have told my wife everything and together we have made the decision to try to rebuild our marriage and I am determined to regain her trust and love.

I have sincerely promised my wife that there will be NO CONTACT OR COMMUNICATION WITH YOU OF ANY KIND UNLESS IT IS ABSOLUTELY BUSINESS RELATED. I will not accept any telephone calls, e-mails, letters or texts from you that does not comply with this.

But of course, whores like fishing don't they? So she phoned him up and asked if this is what he wanted. He tells her yes. She calls him a spineless bastard.


He goes to counselling


He leaves his job 12 weeks later


Finding the truth takes a lot of time and energy. He is so embarrased and ashamed of his behaviour and the choices he made, it takes him a long time to recall events and feelings. His individual counselling sessions (1 a week for 6 months) help with this process. Something else that shames him is the dawning realisation about the type of person he found himself involved with and not least the type of person he had become. He hated himself.