Letter to a Whore

You should be disgusted with yourself, now the most revolting and revealing aspect of you has been disclosed, although I suspect it won’t make an iota of difference given it appears that you have created a value system for yourself, which supports and justifies the deceitful, untrustworthy, dishonest, and devious way you live your so-called life.

You are seriously willing to forego any principles, personal integrity or professional ethic in order to gain something for yourself - at the cost of any distress and pain to others, including children, who may be directly affected by your self-absorbed cowardly and narcissistic actions. It is clear that you lean on married men to satisfy your fragile ego and to gratify your sad emotional needs. You clearly long for someone who will value you for yourself but your sexual favours are the only personal merchandise with which you are able to trade.

You evidently have no respect for yourself or for that matter, mine and my husband’s situation - undeniably not caring about the destruction you were consciously engaging in, again. You knew without any doubt that he was married with children. I may be completely misguided in believing that any principled woman could have an innate sense of sisterhood, but you have no sense of loyalty or identification with your own gender, moreover, you appear to have no concept of professional and personal boundaries and also you are ostensibly ignorant of when and when not to conduct relationships with others.

I recognise that due to your poor judgement, pitiful and non-existent moral attitude and lack of personal and professional principles you are unable to admit to yourself that your relationship with my husband, a married man and loving father & husband, was wholly inappropriate at any point during the 3 ½ years you involved with him, including such time when you were supposedly “engaged” to be married to your boyfriend.

I do acknowledge, although can never accept, that as long as there are women like you, pathetically loose and so very obviously available to anyone, who have the shameful attributes described above, and who are more than willing to sleep with married men with whom they work, without any consideration for the harm they might do, then vulnerable men, however their vulnerability has come about, will make mistakes.

I particularly struggle to understand what low regard and respect you have for your health and wellbeing but more importantly, you have shown no consideration whatsoever for my (or your boyfriends for that matter) health, since neither of you ever suggested that you used a condom to reduce the chance of my contracting a sexually transmitted infection whilst you engaged in your disgusting and repellent behaviour with my husband. I have contacted my GP to arrange for a series of tests to be carried out to ensure that there is no lasting legacy from your stupid, immature and foolish behaviour.

My husband has told me everything about his sordid and grubby experience with you, that he bitterly regrets any association with you whatsoever, that the affair and even your friendship was a complete mistake from the start to the end, he made a complete error of judgement, and it should never have happened. He has assured me that there was never any chance that he could ever been able to build any sort of future with you, nor did he ever want to leave me for you, despite any impression that you may have created in your mind to the contrary and despite you asking him if there was a future for you together. Incidentally, you do not have the right to call him a weak and spineless bastard when he finally ended the affair with you, since your behaviour puts you in the same category.

He has chosen ME not you. His hatred for you now is incalculable and he is beginning to question whatever possessed him to be involved with you.

The whole appalling, vile, sickening, revolting, stomach-churning situation has caused me and my children terrible pain and distress. Notwithstanding, you have put my children at considerable risk from not being in a family environment which includes a mother and a father being together. This evidently means nothing to you, since you don’t value that for your own child. Nor can you appreciate that anyone else’s marriage is valuable, precious and meaningful as demonstrated by your dismal failure to maintain your own marriage.

My husbands’ genuine desire is that he wants to rebuild our relationship and repair the hurt he has caused to our family by his involvement with you.
His regret and remorse at being so naïve as to get involved with someone like you has absolutely shocked him to the core, and he is overwhelmed by the realisation of the damage that you have both created.

We have made a heartfelt and serious commitment to each other that we will work hard to rebuild the marriage that was precious to us. I know that he loves and cares for me very much and is devastated at what has happened.
He very much appreciates that I am a good woman and a good wife, a loving mother, and an absolute professional in a career I love. (and by absolute professional I mean I do not have to go to bed like a whore with my bosses - for it would appear that my husband wasn’t the first - to gain approval, promotion or be considered a valuable part of the team – I achieve what I achieve by honest to goodness hard work and diligent consideration for my fellow colleagues)
We also know that the connection we have physically, emotionally and spiritually is very very strong. Something you absolutely will not recognise.

I deserve much, much better than I got at your malicious, calculating and manipulative hands, but I know that despite you I have my husband’s deep love, respect and complete commitment to build a marriage that is stronger than ever. One we can value, cherish and take pleasure from, despite your intent to attempt to destroy it.

You are, and always have been and always will be inconsequential, unimportant, irrelevant and bear no significance to either of us.

I suggest you go see your GP, get referred to a psychotherapist to attempt to work out why you have such low self esteem, lack of morals, deficiencies in self respect, why you are inept at having proper relationships and why you can slip so easily like a whore into a married mans bed. It might help also to explore where you can acquire a moral compass, since yours is missing – you might find it useful when teaching your daughter the difference between morally right and morally wrong.


Sent to her work email address November 2007