Upbringing

Was it the way he was in his childhood that made him the man he is today?

Our upbringing and the example set by our family forms the foundation of our belief systems, thought processes and self-esteem. It teaches us how to handle conflict and strife, and how to interact with loved ones. Applying this to my own husband's upbringing certainly sheds some light on the possible reasons "why" he had an affair.

Here are some clues - escapist behavior, deceptive behavior, hiding activities and interests, suppressing emotions, lying by omission, avoiding conflict. Most people go on to develop more effective coping skills, and gain better perspective and insight to their own self-worth as they become adults.
In times of stress, fear or unhappiness, however, is it common to revert to these childlike beliefs?

These things do not excuse my husbands choice to have an affair - as a responsible adult he should have recognised that the choice was wrong whilst still committed to a marriage/relationship with me.