Getting away with it?

Do unfaithful partners "get away with it" if they are not discovered, or if reconcilation is an option?


I don't think there are any winners with infidelity, only losers. And no-one gets away with it - even when it remains undisclosed.

The perpetrator has to live with the guilt of their actions, and the pain of their partner if the affair is discovered. They have to live with the accusations, the transparent way they have to live their lives, in order to regain trust and have to face anger, despair and hate from their partners daily - even if the affair actually meant nothing at all to them. They now have to live a life that has no privacy, and is totally transparent and open to question at all times to rebuild trust, honesty and integrity in the marriage. All that pain for no gain.

I think that if most unfaithful partners really thought about the consequences of their choice to have an affair, a great majority would not do it. They have to live with themselves afterwards, and it is almost impossible to face themselves in the mirror, without feeling shame and emnbarrasment knowing that they have hurt the one person they loved the most.

I know that my husband is in agony when he looks in my eyes and and realises that he got away with precisely nothing, that he gained precisely nothing, that he lost precisely everything and that he will carry the shame of causing the deep, severe and lasting pain in our relationship for ever.