She's not Me!

I read something the other day that got me thinking about my husband & Jabba the Slut and what drove their behaviour.

It would appear that my husband had feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem. In order that he "felt better" about himself he chose a person that:

He did not have any feelings for her
He could use her at any time without a conscience for her feelings
Who herself had no self respect so could never call him on his behaviour
She temporarily relieved his feelings of insecurity by being inferior to him


She was ugly inside (and out). I know this - bright, attractive, smart, decent women don't need or want married men. They already have their pick of bright, attractive, smart SINGLE men. Married men won't approach these smart attractive women because they know they'll rebuff them. They know these women can do better...so what's left in the available pile are the loser women...women who are so hard up, they'll screw married men and vice versa.

She was an opportunist - like a shop-lifter. She saw a man who had a nice life with his wife, who cared and loved his wife. She wished that she had that. So, she decided to go after him, flatter him and then work on his vulnerability, like a vulture.

She had no problem with her pride, she had her ego-fixing sex with him and wanted a future that she could only ever dream of, because every man she has ever been with realises at some point when they see her for what she really is, that she is not worth investing in. Who she hurts along the way does not matter, She wants what she wants.

She is someone with no boundaries, no morals, no consience or character. Someone with no self respect/ esteem. Truly, someone to take pity upon.

Grieving the loss of a happy marriage?

It is interesting when I look back at my marriage now truthfully - I KNOW in my heart that I was very happy with it. It wasn't perfect - who's is. But I nor it certainly didn't deserve the treatment we got.

My husband has a knack of somehow re-writing the past so that he can justify (in his own mind, non of what he did is actually justifiable in any shape or form) his involvement with the skanky whore. It's part of the self delusion process that adulterers go through.

Few people believe that a marriage could have been happy before infidelity, but they are usually the ones that lack emotional intelligence (the skanky whores mother told me there must have been something wrong with my marriage - there was, I replied, my husband was incapable of keeping his trousers on when presented with your whore like daughter's come on).


But it is a fact of life, that infidelity does happen in happy marriages.......

If my husband was so miserable in our marriage, why did he not tell me, why did he not end our relationship and start a proper, open, honest one with the skanky whore?

I think the truth is this:

He did not want to lose our marriage and relationship, he did - somewhere in himself - recognise it was the best thing that had happened to him

He did not want to invest in a relationship with the skanky whore - she was just there for sex when he was away from home

He was a cake-eater - he wanted his cake and to eat it too

He had no courage to take permanent steps to curtail his affair

Actually, the problem isn't in the marriage, it with the person who is unfaithful - it is their inability to be open, honest and believe in the promises they made. And their ability to create a web of deceit and lies that they wholesalely buy into. To be faithful to your partner takes restraint. Many people who are unfaithful in their marriages are because they think they CAN. To cheat is to be devoid of morals and caution - at least for a time. I think both of partners in the affair allow each other to behave this way - in other words, the ratf*ckers feed off each other.

The other side of this - I do grieve the loss of aspects of our marriage pre-affair. I will never be able to trust my husband in the same way. I will always work in "stealth mode" when I feel I have to. I will never be able to trust him with my deepest thoughts, aspirations, hopes and joy. Because I can't let him have me 100% ever again. There will always be a little bit that I hold back.

And thats sad, because before this happened, I was never like that, nor felt I had to be. And thats what I grieve most about my marriage.

Thought for The Day

Take back your life, heal yourself. Get revenge by being happy with yourself. Stand proud and say "You did not break me, I will survive and I will come out of this better than I went in"

Why People Cheat

Everyone says affairs happen because of:

Boredom in the marriage or
They are unhappy at home or
They think they will find never-ending-happiness with their affair partners or
Thers is something wrong in the marriage or
Any other number of lame excuses.

There are 9 REAL reaons why people cheat:


They are immature
They are insecure
They are selfish
They are stupid
They *think* they are having a mid-life crisis
They are mentally ill
They have poor boundaries
They have poor or no morals
They are co-dependent

So he had an affair?

F*cked a piece if sh*t he worked with. Screwed a stupid whore from the office.

You're so not worthy of me. You know something - I just became the kind of woman I want to be.

Thought for the Day

Icing on a dog turd, still makes it a dog turd.

Thought for the Day

If he's shagging you in the parking lot but not taking you to the prom - you are being used.